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Fate - If only we learn to surrender

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September 26th, 2010

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10:07 am - Fate
For the longest time, I really do believe in fate. Fate as in like "things happen for a purpose", and "if something is meant to be, it will". I'm not saying that we don't have to work for it to make it happen. Sometimes we keep trying for years before it happens. But I am saying that if it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not meant to be, nothing we do can make it happen. Most of the time, fate doesn't care either way.

A few days ago, I happen to watch (500) Days of Summer, which is doing a rotation on HBO. Although it has been described as a romantic comedy, it really isn't. It's really a "slice of life" movie about an average boy meeting an average girl and how they broke up. It's about Tom, an average-looking boy who grew up believing that there's "the one" out there for him and that fate will bring her to him; It's about Summer, an average-looking girl who for whatever reason, attracts the attention of men wherever she goes. She, however, does not believe in relationships and fate. She believes that things are just meaningless coincidences. They meet in Day (1) where Tom was totally obsessed with her. They hung out in Day (30). Summer said that she is not looking for a deep relationship but a casual one. They had sex in Day (34). And then between Day (34) to (209), Tom was wondering what they were doing since they were not dating but seems to be dating. And without warning in Day (209), she broke up with him (reason unknown). She ended up marrying someone that she met at a store.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, Fate. At the end of the show, Tom met Summer again in Day (490+) at a park (there was a discussion about whether this meeting really happened or it just happened in Tom's mind to bring closure). He told her that everything he believed in was a lie. That there is no fate. It's just coincidences. Here is a girl who can't be his girlfriend but is now someone else's wife. Summer said that she believes that Tom has been right all along. What happens if she decided not to go to the store that day? or was a few minutes late? would the meeting happen and would she get married? In essence, Summer believed that Tom was right all along. He was just wrong about the girl.

Regardless of what you think about love and fate, this is a great movie. It's well produced, the writing is solid, the photography is stellar (I like the way it captured so many vignettes of small but significant things in their lives), and it brings up several philosophical questions about life and love. I would definitely recommend a watch if you have the time. It is like 8.0 stars on IMDB.

This got me thinking about fate. Lately, I have been struggling with some relationship issues and I have been wondering whether I was wrong about fate. I never believed that there is just one person that would make you happy. But I do believe that people are thrown together for a reason. I think that the people you can connect to in that manner are very hard to come by. Even my counselor agreed and said that most people don't even meet one. And when you do meet someone like that, you really want to hang on to it. I find myself in search for reasons to why things are happening. What lesson did I learn? Why are things happening now and not before? Was one event's closure clear the way for a second event? And why did the second event failed as well? All questions that really has no answer. Maybe there really is nothing and they are not connected. They may just be meaningless coincidences just loosely strung together. Personally, there's still a part of me that don't believe that.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:September 27th, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)

It is a good movie

I like it's cynicism but I also think the movie says that people should never stop searching, even if it's futile.
Date:September 28th, 2010 01:11 pm (UTC)

Re: It is a good movie

Well, I would say that people will never stop searching because as humans, we all want to be connected to someone in some way. Not because we believe that there is a "one".

Which of course, also explains why there are so many failed relationships because people want it so much that they don't see the obvious. Which, I think, is one of the points in the movie.

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