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The one lesson I learnt about myself in the last few months - If only we learn to surrender

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September 24th, 2010

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12:48 am - The one lesson I learnt about myself in the last few months
In the last few months, I have learned a lot of things about myself. One of the key things I learned is that I can handle rejection, but I cannot tolerate betrayal. The problem is that most people want to be "nice" so instead of saying something directly to me that they know sounds painful and heart-rendering, they try to explain around it by using other situations or explanations; or they won't bring the issue up but they will do things and hope that I won't notice or I just ignore.

I'm very sure that these alternate explanations are true, and may make you feel better about your actions, but they are never more convincing than the actual truth. Which is why it hurts me when someone tries to justify their action instead of just admitting the truth. It just sounds "fake" and I know you know that what you said just sounds hollow and empty. Esp true when I easily poke holes around your explanation. I'm a very intuitive guy, and I just know when something is not right. So don't treat me like an idiot.

I totally respect people who tells me the hard truth no matter how bad it sounds. Because I know they can level wiht me. If you try to fudge around it because you don't want to be the messenger of bad news, or that you just don't want to confront me with the bad news, it makes me suspect you and then I end up having trust issues with you. THAT is the main reason why you shouldn't do that to me. Because from that point on, I am going to question everything you say to me. And as a result, I find it hard to form any relationship with you - friendship or otherwise.

I forgive people very easily, and I will forget about the incident in days, but the trust issue will last for months or years. Maybe even forever. If it is important for you to reconcile with me, you will have to work hard on it because I'm going to question every little thing you say to me. There will always be distance, there will always be doubt. And to overcome those things, you will have to work at it with me. However, the reality is that no one who does something like that would want to put that much effort to set things right, so therefore, the friendship will never ever totally heal.

The point is - always tell the hard uncomfortable truth. I may break down and cry. I may curse and swear at you. But all those emotions will pass in days. The alternative to that is long lasting distrust that may or may not heal. Then again, like I said, I forgive and forget very very easily. Maybe I can even forget what had been done. I must have because I can't remember anything on top of my head that made me distrust anyone. I'm quite sure that someone somewhere had done something to me previously. Maybe those people who did that aren't in my life anymore. Who knows?

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